in transit

May 31, 2008

i still have a few hours to kill before the scheduled bus leaves the station.  i have several options as to how i’d spend my time– go to the mall, watch a movie, surf and chat…. im done with the malling, there’s no cinema here for one and a half years now, and im in an internet cafe right now . …..

i cant count the times ive compared life to a journey.  i still think it’s one of the most apt metaphor for life.   i havent traveled for at least a year and so this trip is something that i’ve dreaded and looked forward to at the same time.  i missed the thrill of being on the move.  perhaps it’s not so much of the movement that excites me as the mindset that i take on when i travel–comfortable with uncertainty, expecting the unexpected and being at peace with the thought.  ……

 

this past year, i have been working hard on permancy.  i’m making  a home and loving it.  it’s not all fun and happiness but it’s something that gives me joy.  the quality of this joy has been very different from the joy i knew before. … there are times when i think and feel that this joy is so much more superficial than the one i knew before…the kind of joy that has no price and stems from awareness of the inner beauty of things….but perhaps it is just a transitional phase that is why i feel that way.  on the other hand, if this is indeed a regression instead of progression … i hope i regain the better "state of being"….. soon……there is one lesson that i have recently relearned last night….."it’s always better to give….always."